To Top

The Funniest American In Pakistan (Is Crazy About Mangoes)

Particularly Americans consular staff in Pakistan, when you think about consular staff, you think about serious folks doing serious things for motives that are serious. But one guy is on a mission for some reason.This man…;


This is American Consulate of Karachis’ inhouse wizard and caster of spells. His official job will be to shield American Consulate in Karachi from Voldemort and his hobbies include being protective about mangoes and wearing traditional Pakistani clothing.

Only kidding. His name is Brian Asmus and he’s the official representative of the American consulate in Karachi.

Wait, what?

You clearly need to understand what’s happening at the American Consulate in Karachi and what’s he up to? Is having so much pleasure in a government job permitted?

One thing we do understand is that nothing can come between him and his one true love: Pakistani mangoes, although we’re not overly confident at this point.

Inquire Griffin Rozell who attempted, oh because he was sent back to America but you can’t. That’s what you get for stealing Brian’s mangoes.

Here you may inquire, “Daily Pakistan, what the hell are you referring to?” So here’s the back story:

Everything began when Mehran TV sent a box of mangoes to Brian and the Consulate posted it on Facebook.

Asserting that some mangoes had gone lost, Brian took the remaining mangoes into protective custody:

protective custody

Yet, as destiny would have it, those mangoes shortly went missing.

soon went missing

And Brian found a fresh goal in life: To get the mango burglar and bring him to justice. For this goal, he intended to set up a booby trap.

set up a booby trap

And shortly…;

and soon

“Aha! You fiend!”

Unhand them

It was found the mango robber was he’d been hoarding mangoes for reasons we’ve yet to understand, and none apart from the Cultural Attache, Griffin Rozell.


Severe disciplinary action was taken against Griffin whose mango privileges were taken away.

mango privileges were taken away

Because Brian takes his mangoes really seriously, he was handcuffed.

Brian takes his mangoes very seriously

He was grounded for, like which would make him miss the concert


Have a look at this picture before you feel sorry for Griffin. The kids weren’t safe from his mango-snitching manners.

On the other hand this man was rewarded because he established the be instrumental in getting Griffin.


And they lived happily ever after.


Wait, oh no, more mangoes were stolen, and this time the defendant was Brian himself.


Mangoes were being stolen right and left, so after direct orders from President Obama, the consulate hired a Head of Mango Security.

Who was powerful…;

Who was strong

And diligent…;

And diligent

Despite stringent security measures, the robber attacked again


Security camera footage shown it was Griffin, nobody was surprised.


So with all the mangoes Brian has resorted to sorcery and magic to bring his mangoes back…;


Which he was unable to do, nevertheless, he made Angela seem, who seemingly is a more powerful wizard than anyone at the office.

And soon enough, Angela made mangoes using magic.

Brian’s latest place has sworn to bring us the ending in this saga shortly. We’re all really excited about it. Will Griffin Be seen by us ? Does Brian have an evil twin? We intend to remain tuned to learn, although we don’t understand.

Meanwhile, we’re nominating Brian for the Most Humorous American in Pakistan™ award. Does Brian deserve it? We leave it to you to determine.

More in Weird & Wacky